And now I am sitting here after a good day.
Upset.
Awesome.

I don't know how much more BS I can deal with before I just give up.

It would be nice to have friends.

I guess I need to do some soul searching and maybe make some choices that aren't going to make everyone happy. So much for being a good friend.

39% remaining

battery is running on the low side so this might be a quick one... depending on how fast I can type.

I'll start off with my randomness and see where this takes me...

I missed the scanner. It's owner took it to work with him.. but not tonight, so it is all mine.

Today was the last day of my job. They said I could come back if I change my mind to which I walked even faster out the door. No, thank you.

I HATE canker sores. Ouch, OUCH, OUCH!! I have one on the inside of my top left lip and one on the inside on the right of my lower lip. And they won't go away :(

When I have children I will brush their teeth and floss their teeth, even their baby teeth, so they don't end up with cavities because currently my 5 cavities are one of the things I think about when I lay awake at night unable to sleep. I still need to call the dentist and schedule them to be filled but I guess that will wait until Monday.

As nice as this is to have a blog I think I may start my own super secret personal journal with good old fashioned pen and paper. There are some things that the rest of the world doesn't really need to potentially know even though I only have 2 followers.

Two weeks from today we will be done with rehearsal dinner and going to sleep for the last time unmarried. I cannot wait to marry the man of my dreams, mister wedding researcher who even dug out some etiquette books in an attempt to make the perfect (and I know it will be perfect) toast on our wedding day. He is the BEST.

I've gotten so used to doing things alone or just with my man. What am I ever going to do if I have friends again? Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there.. maybe J can be my bff when she is done with the academy. I'd like that. It has made me more brave and independent (but deep down inside I am still scared of everything and want to have people to spend time with).


I ate lots of junk today... lots. My breakfast was perfect as always (sandwich thin, natural peanut butter, banana, skim milk) but after that it was downhill, some peaches, 1/2 a pancake with syrup, a chocolate muffin, a full fat string cheese, some goldfish crackers, a scotcheroo, some of my delicious homemade macaroni and cheese, an orange (ok, not all bad), a couple apple slices, a drink of gross punch, a whole grain chocolate chip cookie... some baked cheddar and sour cream chips, mostacolli with meatballs, a small salad and a tiny piece of bread... followed by a (shared) fruit slush........... and some lemon sorbet gelato. Gross. And typing this all just made me feel even more disgusting. Tomorrow I will eat whole grains, fruits, vegetables, lean protein and water, because who are we kidding.. I am not a sumo wrestler, I am an almost bride.

I think that is enough for tonight.

Goodnight world.
Much love, R.

Enjoying the small things

Tonight I made my favorite whole grain chocolate chip cookies. The recipe required 1/2 cup of canola oil. All I had left in my giant bottle was exactly 1/2 cup of canola oil. Wonderful

Hubby to be left my engagement ring at the jeweler's overnight to soak in their cleaning solution while my wedding band was being made. It sparkles like it has never sparkled before. It is big and beautiful and I love it. Gorgeous

Only two more days at the Y. Washed my 2 short sleeved Y shirts for the last time tonight. THE LAST TIME. Sigh of relief

My gym bag is packed for my last 5:30 am workout. I have only missed 2 classes since I stared going in January (one for sleep before traveling all night and one OOPS, I guess my body needed more sleep than I thought). I have been sooo sore but the satisfaction I get from having my workout done by 6:15 am and the changes I have seen in my body are so very worth it to me. Dedication.

Tomorrow night I am going to make scotcheroos for my last day treat. And I will only eat one. Determination.

My healthy breakfast and lunch are packed for tomorrow. The perfect combination of delicious leftover enchiladas verde y all my usual healthy snacks. Delicioso.

All I have left to do tonight is brush my teeth and take off my glasses... my goal was to be in bed by 10 and with 10 minutes left, I think I will have time to spare. Good night.


Sometimes all of these little, everyday things make me the happiest girl there is. Smiling my exhausted smile with a snoring puppy resting on my leg. I LOVE LIFE.

I warned you...

here it comes..
the rambling post to make up for a long time without writing down all (well, some) of the randomness that goes through my head at any given time.

I have 4 more days at my current job. Quite possibly the least favorite job I have ever had. Actually, yes. Definitely my least favorite job of the almost 10 or so I have had. It is a little bittersweet since there are some parts I enjoy. I enjoy being the "cooker" and getting asked numerous times a day "What's for snack?" I enjoy the funny stories that kids tell and I enjoy Monday morning circle time where I usually duck in the classroom to hear what everyone did over the weekend. I'll miss seeing the excitement in their eyes when they try and new food and realize that they really like it (but I'm not surprised, who wouldn't like my famous lasagna?). I'll miss introducing them to things like smoothies and spending an hour cutting up 80 kids worth of a beautiful, colorful, fresh fruit salad (which one animated 5 year old proclaimed was "the perfect snack!"). I'll miss the polite few who always say "please" and "thank you" and even one who definitely appreciates me as the cooker and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and tells me "thank you for the food". I sometimes wish I could make a career out of doing a job similar to this one, only with a commercial dishwasher, larger budget and much much bigger paycheck. I love kids and I love introducing them to new and healthy foods but the time has come for me to leave and cross my fingers that the next person will do their best to feed them well and never forget to smile at them even if they throw their plate or spoon in the trash, again.
So here's to the effort I have put into this job. This $10/hr job. Which has been hard on my hands and nails from the constant washing, dish scrubbing and dish sanitizing. This 18 mile one way job. This job that has forced me to use my cell phone calculator to count every penny I am spending at Aldi to make sure I don't go over my budget, and then to use every muscle in my body to carry in a week worth of groceries weighing nearly as much as I do all stuffed into 2 large reusable bags... and caused me to curse a few times when I tried to use the kitchen cart to bring things in and hit a bump only to send cans of re-fried beans and canned chicken rolling across the entry way... thank you to the nice man who came running from his car to help me get in the door- I can't imagine how frustrated I must have looked. May I never again have to buy more than one loaf of bread at a time or one package of napkins at a time (unless I am planning an awesome party). May I never have to feed kids less healthy food than I want to. May I find more satisfaction in my new job.
I just hope this job ending won't feel like a bad break-up... hopefully we can both look back on it and say, "well, that was fun. It's too bad it didn't work out".

And speaking of NEW job... I could not be anymore excited. Although, I don't feel I have officially jumped up and down, I am beyond thrilled to finally be able to say "I am a dietitian" when someone asks me what I do. Nutrition defines me. 5 years of hard work, late nights of studying and working for free has shaped me into the the excited, young, nutrition professional who I am today.
This new job will definitely not be without challenges, tears and heartbreak. But I am ready for it. I am strong and I am caring... and while the later my make my job that much harder, it will also help me do it that much better. To be able to be a resource for families and patients who are dealing with the end of life process is something I feel strongly about. I know that I cannot save anyone... and it is possible that nothing I say or do will be able to help them, but darn it all, I am going to try my very best. I am going to try to give people the best advice I can on what to eat and drink to help keep their strength up and I am also going to be the voice of reason and help patients and families understand that not eating IS a natural part of the dying process and that it is ok. I certainly do not know everything and have a lot to learn but this is what I live for. To fill my brain with nutrition knowledge that can HELP people. I know I will end up crying a lot but I hope that I will also find this job to be rewarding and beneficial to the people I work with.

NOW...

one more quick topic for the evening since my laptop is slowly burning my thighs and my eyelids are getting heavy (5.5 hours until my alarm goes off for my early morning workout) and sometimes I have to cut myself off and save more for another blog.....

THE WEDDING!!!

19 days. Yes, 19. We are out of the 30s, and now out of the 20s. It is getting so close and the excitement is at an all time high. How could I not be beyond thrilled to be marrying my best friend, my everything?! I was so happy to get rid of the "girlfriend/boyfriend" titles and now in 19 days we can get rid of the "fiance" titles.
The wedding is going to be perfect. NO. MATTER. WHAT.
We will be in the company of our amazing family and lots of great friends. I know that some of our friends aren't able to make it but they will be thinking about us on our special day and we will be missing them and wishing they were celebrating with us... I am confident that our photographer will do an amazing job and the photographs she takes will make them feel like they were almost there... minus them being able to tear up the dance floor with us (some of them can't imagine not being there and I am sure it is slowly killing them.. but we still love 'em)!
Bride-to-be's need their beauty sleep though.. and after a lovely battle with a face sunscreen (Rach- 0, Sunscreen- 1) my poor sensitive skin is broken out and sad and needs some serious healing in the next 19 days.

That's all for tonight. Today was a great day. I will make the best of tomorrow.
Love, R

Things I have learned from the (ignorant) people I work with

1) If you read it on the internet then it must be true.
2) Everyone wants to hear about your drunken stories even though you aren't in college anymore.
3) Just because you think marijuana should have been legalized a long time ago makes it ok to smoke it.
4) Everything I can do they can do better.
5) It is illegal to talk on your cell phone while you drive.

I'd rather sit on a porcupine than say goodbye to people

Ok I have to admit it.. I still watch Real World.
I don't think I have missed a season since early high school.
Thank goodness I can record it now and not have to plan my week around it...

This season they were in DC and I don't really think they worked like they have on other seasons. Which made me quite jealous. I'd love to live in an awesome house (with a whole room full of love sacs) and make new friends in a new city and not work.

Tonight I watched the last episode and the token gay guy said "I'd rather sit on a porcupine than say goodbye to people" and I couldn't agree more. Ugh.. I HATE saying goodbye. I have such a hard time letting go of people I've become good friends with.. I guess that explains why I am still holding on to a situation that most people would have given up on forever ago.

Dear nameless lady,

You were in my 5:30am workout class this morning.

You come sometimes... and you are usually not putting in nearly enough effort to make it worth you waking up that early.

And what was with that look you had on your face during everything we did today??

The class is called "Get Up and Go" not "Come to the YMCA and wear your SOURPUSS face for everyone to see when they look in the mirror".

Let's step it up a notch or stay in bed, eh?

Love, Rach

Reason #529...

why Marisa and I are going to move to Arizona and have some sort of job that deals with puppies...

Pearl and I went to puppy playtime this morning and met 2 french bulldogs. I was trying to get Pearl to distract their owner so we could steal them both but no such luck. There is always next week!

I have a feeling our future kids will be wise beyond their years

Scene: Ned and Pearl are in the kitchen. Ned is covering the leftovers with aluminum foil and Pearl is supervising. A piece of foil falls to the ground and Pearl being the vacuum cleaner she thinks she is checks it out to see if she wants to eat it...

Ned: "What's that Pearl?" (referring to the small piece of foil)
Pearl: *tilts head*
Ned: "Oh, that's foil, don't eat that Pearl. People put heroin in foil, there could be heroin in there."


Sometimes I am afraid to think of what our kids will tell their friends at school...

I've got 5 minutes until the benadryl kicks in..

Sometimes you tell yourself it is ok to eat 2 cupcakes because you got up at 4:30am to go work out and then spent 15 minutes be chased and chasing 20 4 year old rays of sunshine at work.

Sometimes you forgot what lotions you have an allergic reaction to (thus the benadryl).

Sometimes you don't mind doing something totally ridiculous that is a giant waste of time, such as a new employee orientation session, just because it gets your away from your typical crappy routine in a job you don't love.

Sometimes just one thing can make you smile for the whole day, like seeing a 3 year old walking out of school holding hands with his mom who just came back from Kuwait and surprised him by picking him up at school.

Sometimes you realize that you can get a lot more satisfaction from volunteering where you actually feel like you are making a difference and helping people even if you are working harder than you do when you get paid.


Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you marry one.



And sometimes you cannot keep your eyes open any longer, even if something in Cafe World might spoil if you don't stay up and serve it.

10 items of brief rambling

Sometimes I can never turn off the constant random thoughts that pop into my head... so I shall type them tonight..

1) I can't stand when people don't clear any remaining time off of the microwave.. this especially drives me crazy at work when I look to see what time it is and see "0:47."

2) Things/shows that make me cry like Biggest Loser, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, and there used to be an American Cancer Society commercial about being the official sponsor of birthdays that used to get me EVERY TIME. I guess this just means no one can say that I'm not a softy even if 99.9% of what I say is filled with sarcasm.

3) I see strangers, acquaintances and friends who aren't taking responsibility for their health and I just want to smack some sense into them and tell them to get it together! I just want people to be healthy.. I suppose that is why when I grow up I want to be a dietitian.

4) Sending someone a little gift just because. I sent my bff a coat like my favorite coat and I knew that it would be delivered today. It made me so happy to hear her voice and how happy she was to get a surprise and know that someone was thinking about her and loves her like I do :)

5) Slamming doors... thank you loud neighbors for being inconsiderate. You are so very rude.

6) Snow days. I never thought I would care about snow days ever again but now that I have a job where if our school district is closed I get to stay home reminds me of crossing my fingers for no school and being oh so happy to here the phone ring before my alarm went off meaning my mom's district didn't have school and likely neither did mine.

7) I will be in bed by 9:30, I will be in bed by 9:30, I will be in bed by 9:30.

8) Ned always tells me I am a "marketer's dream". Today I again proved him right by seeing a clinique ad and immediately going to their website and planning my next purchase. I am out of one thing.. why not buy 2 others because their ad in cosmo looked cool?

9) Maybe most people would be annoyed that there glasses were licked by a puppy. Not me. I'll wash them when I get ready for bed, but for now they make me happy because I have the best puppy in the world and apparently she loves me enough to kiss my glasses.

10) Pearl loves crocs... so much that she slept with her face in my mom's croc:



Wouldn't she look cute in a bed like this:

Pearl loves slippers

And socks...

Now if only we could teach her to do laundry.. or at least take the laundry to the laundry room.

What's for snaaack?

Sometimes I just have to laugh... like after I have answered the same question one million times.

Here is a minute of a day in the life of my job:

Teacher: Ok friends, it is snack time.

Young chubby, adorable "friend" to me: Is it snack time?
Me: Nope, it is supper time. It isn't really 9:45 am, it is actually 6:00pm.. go wash your hands for supper.
Friend: No, it is breakfast time.
Me: Yes, let's have breakfast. Go wash your hands.
Friend: No, we already HAD breakfast.
Me: Yes, we did.. now what comes after breakfast?!
Friend: SNAACK!!!! Today is snack time!!!
and just when I think I am in the clear from answering questions...
Friend: MISS RACHELE, WHAT'S FOR SNAACK?!


God I love this kid. He makes my day. Sometimes I wish I were 4 again.

Not me Monday

I certainly didn't hit the snooze so many times that I had 15 minutes to get dressed, eat breakfast, take the dog out, pack a lunch, and brush my teeth. Nope, Not me!

I didn't forget to take my keys out of the other car and bring them inside. I didn't have to scramble to find the spare house key and the spare car key. And I didn't secretly hope that I couldn't find either so I wouldn't have to go to work. Nope, Not me!

I didn't debating wheeling the snack cart out of one of the the classroom where the teachers help themselves to the food for the kids today to see if a teacher would follow me since she hadn't gotten a muffin yet. Nope. Not me!! And of course I didn't give her a rude smile when she took 2. Never... Not me.

And just like any other day of the week, I most definitely did not debate quitting my job on the spot after hearing that the branch executive director came into the kitchen to see what smelled good... and when she noticed I wasn't there and asked one of the teachers where I was and she again said she wouldn't be surprised if I had quit already (citing the history of my position). Nope. NOT ME!

Sometimes...

Sometimes you win... sometimes you lose....
Sometimes you are the windshield and sometimes you are the bug.

Sometimes you just need a blog to type your endless ramblings in.

And sometimes when you think that you dislike the city you live in because you now dislike the people you once thought were genuine... you find an awesome friend who takes you to fun places and some somewhat shady places, introduces you to her group of friends and calls you her "sister", AND likes the fact that you want to blog (even though your fiance makes fun of you)...

Sometimes you win :)